


The Way It's Gonna Be, Little Darling

by surgicalfocus



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - 1990s, Alternate Universe - Australia, Brief Mention of Suicide, Cowboys, Homophobia, M/M, Romance, brief mention of murder, mentions of gay bashing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-12-02 21:19:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11517684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/surgicalfocus/pseuds/surgicalfocus
Summary: Baekhyun finds it hard to adjust to city life. Opening up to Chanyeol about it proves even harder. (Part 2 of 'Meet Me In High Places')





	The Way It's Gonna Be, Little Darling

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is a continuation of a fic I wrote last year called ‘Meet Me In High Places’, loosely based on Brokeback Mountain by Annie Proulx, and won’t make much sense unless you’ve read that first.
> 
> Warnings as follows: mentions of homophobia and related violence, brief mentions of murder and suicide, mild sexual references, ten year age gap

Baekhyun woke up to the sound of a morning train whooshing past on the Inner West line. That was his alarm, these days; at Lightning Creek it had been the horses, the dogs, maybe a rooster, some birds or the engine of Tucker's truck coughing itself back to life — and that was only if his own body clock didn't get in there first, screaming at him to get up before the sun did. Now it was the trains. They managed to get the apartment a bit cheaper because of the noise, but he found he didn’t mind it that much, really.

He scrunched his eyes shut. _Please, just let me lie here a little bit longer_. Work could wait a couple more minutes, surely. When he eventually began to move, the warm arm around his waist pulled him back in again. "And where do you think you're going..?"

"Gotta go to work," Baekhyun said, rubbing his eyes; he lay there a moment longer before unwinding Chanyeol's arm from around his body. "Aren't you getting up too?"

Chanyeol sighed and rolled onto his stomach, still half asleep. Still naked as the day he was born, too. "Nope. First lecture's not until ten.”

"Lucky bastard." Baekhyun leaned forward over the bed, planting a noisy kiss on the side of his boyfriend's face — the side that wasn’t buried in his pillow. Couldn't pass up the opportunity to give that cute little bum a playful slap, either. "Have a good day, hot stuff. See you tonight."

Chanyeol didn't open his eyes, but he did smile and lazily swat Baekhyun's hand away before rolling over again, this time onto his side. “You too, sex bomb.”

Baekhyun choked down a piece of cold vegemite toast in the car on the way to his first appointment. Couldn't believe it had already been six months since they'd moved here; he was still trying to fit into this new lifestyle, taking on a bunch of odd jobs, mostly landscaping work and some handy-man stuff if it was straightforward enough. The money was usually pretty decent, even if the workload could be inconsistent at times, a drizzle one week, a downpour the next. Sometimes he thought he wanted something a little more regular, but now that he was away from everything he knew, he didn’t really know what he wanted to do with himself. Chanyeol worked at a coffee shop in between being a uni student, but Baekhyun wasn't the kind of person to stand behind a counter and make small talk with strangers about the weather. 

Anyway, he much preferred being outdoors; that was how he'd come to spend much of his time tending to the gardens of the wealthy in the eastern suburbs, manicuring their lawns, pruning their rose bushes and trimming their fancy hedges. The good part about it was that he could go to one of the beaches nearby after he was done, sit down on the sand and watch the sun set; the sea was still a novelty after living inland for much of his life, and it was nice to have somewhere to go where he could have a clear view of the horizon and be alone with his thoughts for a while. There were other perks of working around that area, too: if he was already in the neighbourhood, he could drive into Centennial Park and sit down during his lunch break, watching all the horses go round the riding track while he chewed half-heartedly on his mid-afternoon sandwich. Since he wasn’t overly busy that afternoon, he went to watch them before heading off to his last job for the day. There they all trotted past him in a line, representing all colours, white, black, bay, chestnut and grey, with young men and women in jodhpurs and white helmets bouncing on their backs. They were close enough that he could smell them: those beautiful, well-kept creatures, with coats that shone as though they'd been polished for hours by hand. Baekhyun watched them, wide-eyed and wistful, and his stomach got a strange gnawing feeling in it like it always did whenever they went by, a kind of aching emptiness, but it wasn't because he was still hungry. 

The racecourse was just around the corner, and the stables... maybe he could get a job as a stablehand — that'd be some ‘stable’ work, he thought, and almost laughed aloud at his own silly pun. He’d been the head stockman back at Lightning Creek, but now he thought he would happily go back to his humble beginnings: mucking out the stables, topping up the feed and water troughs, spending his time talking to the horses when he was supposed to be grooming them. He never felt silly doing it, knew they could understand him in their own way. He loved them for their intelligence, their sensitivity; how they always seemed to pick up on his mood when he wasn't feeling the best, pressing their warm muzzles against his hand, the look of wisdom in their gentle eyes.

At any rate, it was worth thinking about. 

A young girl on the back of a bay mare came trotting towards him then, stalling behind the rest of the group, and Baekhyun stopped his reminiscing. He smiled up at her. “Hello there. That your horse?”

The girl shook her head, her blonde plaits swinging around her shoulders. “Nah, I wish… just taking her for a ride,” she said with a lopsided smile. “Told mum and dad I wanted a horse for my thirteenth birthday, and I was sort of half joking, but they enrolled me in after-school riding lessons. All it’s done is make me want one even more.”

“I know the feeling. I used to ride a lot myself." Usually Baekhyun liked having an excuse to talk about his past life as a proper cowboy, but she probably wouldn't have cared, so he didn't mention it. “She’s a beauty," he said, directing his attention back to the horse. "What's she called?”

“Madonna.” The girl's lips twitched a little when Baekhyun raised an eyebrow at the name. “Apparently her owner’s a fan. Can give her a pat if you want.”

Baekhyun stood up and reached over to rub the horse’s nose. “Thanks. You might’ve just made my day.”

“S’alright.” The girl nodded her head at him and smiled. “Anyway, I’d better get going… don't wanna be left behind. Have a good arvo.”

“You too,” Baekhyun said, watching her ride off. He went back to work that afternoon feeling a little better about life than he did before.

  


* * * * *

  
When Baekhyun got home that night, Chanyeol was already there. The whole apartment smelled like the Chinese food he’d picked up — stir-fried noodles, spring rolls, Mongolian lamb and sweet-and-sour pork, and Chanyeol stopped setting the table when he saw Baekhyun enter the kitchen, greeting him with “what's cooking, good-looking?” and a peck on the lips.

"You still smell a bit grassy," Chanyeol said with a chuckle; he leaned into Baekhyun's neck, inhaled deeply and kissed him there. “I think I like it. Suits you.”

“Get out of it.” Baekhyun playfully shoved him off. “At least let me shower first.”

Chanyeol stepped back a little, admiring Baekhyun’s arms in the tight black t-shirt he’d worn to work that day, before squeezing one of his biceps with a long, exaggerated wolf-whistle. “Nice... you're getting a bit of a tan, too.” He picked up a plate for Baekhyun and began filling it with food. “To answer your question, I didn’t have much time to cook tonight, hence the take-out. How was your day?”

Baekhyun shrugged. "Was alright. Spent my lunch break in the park, which was nice.”

“Oh? Nice day for it, too. Which park?”

“Centennial. I like to look at the horses.”

Chanyeol smiled to himself with an expression that clearly said _of course you do_ , but he didn’t look up from filling Baekhyun’s plate. “And work was okay?”

Baekhyun took the plate Chanyeol handed to him, and went to sit down at the folding card table they used to eat at. “Yeah. Work’s work, you know."

“Old rich people still giving you the shits, hey.” Chanyeol laughed and sat down opposite him. "What else is new."

Baekhyun shrugged. “One lady whose lawn I did today asked me where I was from. Told her here. No, but where are you _from_ , she says… I was born _here_ , I said. And then she just looked at me like I’d sprouted a second head.” He sighed. “Some of these people have clearly never set foot outside their own backyards; you’d think they’d never seen a person of Asian descent before. ”

“Probably not. Probably don’t even know Korea’s a place. The thing is, you sound way more Aussie than most white people I know — that’s the funny part,” Chanyeol said, grinning through a mouthful of noodles. He sucked in a straggler with a loud slurp.

“I know, hey.” Baekhyun chewed thoughtfully, reaching across the table to help himself to another spring roll. “Say what you want about Tucker, but he wasn't a racist, at least. Well, not openly."

“Uh-huh. Just a... what’s that word again? Ah — _homophobe_.” Chanyeol licked plum sauce off his lips, still smiling; he was really adorable when he ate, for some reason, but then all Chanyeol had to do was breathe and Baekhyun would have thought it was cute.

“Ah well,” he said, biting into his spring roll. “Can’t have it all.”

“He also ran over your dog,” Chanyeol pointed out. “Let's not forget that part of the story."

“We don’t mention that in this house.” Baekhyun scowled, his mood suddenly darkening a few shades, but he felt Chanyeol’s toes touching his under the table, and in the end the scowl didn’t last very long.

They’d been in that apartment for half a year and still had hardly any furniture, just the bare minimum. Baekhyun didn’t care much, and he guessed Chanyeol didn’t either, since he never complained about it. They made do with what they had, and for now it was enough for the two of them. There was no television set; only a crappy old radio with a bent antenna and a shelf full of (mostly Chanyeol’s) books. You could tell whose books were whose — Baekhyun’s few books were all about rearing cattle and livestock diseases, and Chanyeol’s were mostly fantasy fiction titles, with the odd agricultural science textbook thrown into the mix. Baekhyun had never been much of a reader before, except for the paper, but he was starting to get into it now because there wasn't a whole lot else to do of an evening. Most days they went to bed early and found other ways to entertain themselves, but the bed they shared was so small that it wasn’t the best for fooling around in — it was hard enough to sleep in it. Sometimes they ended up rolling onto the floor, not that it ever stopped them. 

“Move over a little, babe. I’ve got no room.”

“Can’t,” Chanyeol said. “Only an inch between me and the edge.”

“Why’s this bed have to be so fuckin tiny,” Baekhyun muttered, with a little grunt of annoyance; but really he just felt like having a whine, and knew there were worse problems he could be putting up with. A cow delivering a breech calf — _that_ was a problem. So was being kicked by an angry horse.

“Because it’d take up the whole bedroom if it was any bigger.” Chanyeol laughed softly. “Dunno what you’re whinging about, anyhow. We’ve slept in smaller spaces than this.”

Baekhyun didn't reply, just wrapped an arm tighter around Chanyeol's waist and pressed his lips against the back of his neck, thinking about their time in the hills with Tess and the horses. He felt a pang of nostalgia for those nights they spent stuffed together in one sleeping bag, cocooned in its warmth; those first tender moments of exploration, Chanyeol's hand guiding his own, how his breath quickened when Baekhyun touched him the way he liked. Kissing for hours under the old ironbark on a warm spring day, the sunlight catching on the ends of Chanyeol's lashes, the softness of his lips; their own little slice of heaven that had gone the way of most good dreams, vanishing before he'd had the chance to savour it fully. 

And they could do those things here too, of course; he knew that. It wasn't like intimacy was lacking in their relationship. But there was just something about being there, in that place. Something about kissing under an old gum tree with the sun shining in on you in golden patches through the leaves, and holding each other beneath billions of inconceivably ancient stars; a kind of magic that couldn't be replicated here inside their shoebox of an apartment with the brown water stains on the ceiling — a ceiling that sometimes looked like it was closing in on you in the darkness. That was why Baekhyun had trouble falling asleep unless the room was pitch black. 

He had one hand on Chanyeol's belly now, stroking circles into his young lover’s skin to the rhythm of his own daydreams, every now and then giving the elastic of his thin cotton boxers a teasing little snap. “Alright, smarty-pants, you win,” he whispered. “But just this once."

Chanyeol leaned back into him, shifting to make himself comfortable. “What's that hand doing..?”

“Dunno. You tell me.”

Chanyeol laughed. "Gonna give me a stiffy if you keep going the way you are. I’ve already got half of one.”

Baekhyun smiled against the back of Chanyeol's neck, but his hand kept wandering. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.” What grown-up called it a _stiffy_ , anyhow? Chanyeol was very much a capable adult, but some parts of him never changed, never grew up — how he always went for the comics page in the Sunday paper first of all, and his love for coffee with so much sugar added that Baekhyun always made a scrunched-up face whenever he picked up his boyfriend’s cup on his way through the kitchen, stealing a sip of whatever was in it. Then there were his kisses: hot and eager and impatient and wet, no matter how many times Baekhyun tried to teach him to do it better, to slow down, but they were kind of sweet nonetheless. He couldn’t pretend Chanyeol was the world’s best kisser — when he was good he was very good, but when he was bad he was awful — though in Baekhyun’s experience no one else had ever kissed quite like him, not with the same amount of love, and that was the important thing.

Chanyeol rolled over to face Baekhyun, slinging an arm around his waist. His breath on Baekhyun’s face was warm. “Can I ask you something..?”

“You just did, but sure.”

Baekhyun could see Chanyeol rolling his eyes at the retort, even in the half-darkness, but he persevered. “Do you like it here?” he asked.

“Yeah. Course I do,” Baekhyun said, part of his response getting lost in a yawn.

Chanyeol didn’t look convinced. “You sure about that..?”

“Positive,” Baekhyun murmured, with a little hum to show that he was indeed happy. And he began to sing, because didn’t only happy people do that? _That’s the way it’s gonna be, little darling… we’ll go riding on[the horses](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnigc08J6FI), yeah._

“Alright,” Chanyeol whispered in reply, and then there was a moment of contemplative silence. “Sometimes I wonder, that’s all… if you’re only hanging around because of me. If I’m even enough to keep you here."

Baekhyun leaned forward and kissed his boyfriend softly on the lips. “I’m happy as long as I’m with you; that’s the honest truth. So you have nothing to fear. Except, you know, yowies and man-eating possums… the usual stuff.”

Chanyeol laughed at that. “Okay. Just checking.” He reached over to move Baekhyun’s hair out of his eyes. “I think it’s time to cut that mop you call a hairstyle, Baek. Who even has a mullet anymore?”

“Oh? Well, I didn't hear you complaining when you were running your hands all through it last night.”

With another soft chuckle, Chanyeol pulled Baekhyun on top of him, wrapping those impossibly long legs around his body to keep him in place.

“Touché,” he whispered, “now how about you finish what you started?”

  


  * * * * *

  


“So how much do I owe you? A hundred dollars, is it..?”

Baekhyun watched the old woman count out the notes one by one, her withered hands shaking slightly as she did it, and tried not to tap his foot in impatience. He knew she couldn't exactly help being a few years shy of a hundred, but Mrs. Roberts was not a particular favourite among his customers; aside from being a curmudgeonly old bag, she had all these stupid fucking topiary animals in her front yard, and they were always a pain in the arse to trim. There was one shaped like a swan that was the worst of the lot, and because it was her pride and joy, she was really pedantic about how he did it — always eyeballing him from the bay window at the front of the house to make sure he did the job properly, her face so close that her breath fogged up a circle on the glass. Sometimes Baekhyun thought he should have jumped that ship months ago, but she was a faithful regular, and he put up with it because he needed the money.

While he waited for her to count out what she owed, he listened half-heartedly to the radio playing in the background — permanently set to the ABC news channel, since Mrs. Roberts didn't believe in music unless it was opera. The announcer was talking about a man whose body had been found washed up on the beach that morning; his injuries and the place he'd been found at suggested he'd jumped from the cliffs somewhere between Bondi and Tamarama — or was pushed, which Baekhyun thought was more likely. There was a well-known gay beat around that area, and quite a few of the missing men had already turned up somewhere in the vicinity; sometimes Baekhyun walked along those cliffs and tried to see if he could spot anyone down below, and then felt morbid for doing so. This one was a young man, only 25. His parents were desperate for answers. And it would be in the papers for a little while, until they inevitably dismissed it as just another suicide, and then they would all get on with their lives like it had never happened. It wasn’t that Baekhyun was cynical, he just knew how these things tended to pan out.

“How dreadful,” Mrs. Roberts said, talking more to herself than to him, with one of those little _tsk_ sounds of disapproval that you'd normally allow for something annoying but trivial, like walking in on a child doodling on the walls with a crayon. “What a shame. Still, sometimes I wonder if it might be for the best.”

“People are people, Mrs. Roberts,” Baekhyun said quietly. He accepted the cash with a polite nod and left for his next appointment, although not before taking a sneaky piss on the topiary swan before he left. Nitrogen was supposedly good for plants, anyway.

The old woman's comment left him in a sour mood for the rest of that day, and even sitting down to a pleasant home-cooked dinner with Chanyeol couldn't snap Baekhyun out of it. Maybe he shouldn't have been surprised by her attitude; she was ancient, after all, and probably didn't know any better. 

But still. It really had him wound up. He picked at his food for a moment without eating. 

“Baek, are you alright?" Chanyeol asked. When Baekhyun looked up at him, he seemed concerned.

He nodded and mumbled his reply. “Yeah. Fine." He didn't want to tell Chanyeol what she had said, couldn’t bear to see any hurt in those pretty brown eyes. "It's nothing to worry about. Just had a bit of a crap day... one of my customers likes her bushes to be in the shape of animals, and trimming them always shits me to tears."

Chanyeol smiled. “Not sure I like the idea of you trimming the bushes of strange ladies.”

Baekhyun laughed through his nose, and then fell silent. He could tell Chanyeol wanted to try and get him to talk about his feelings, but he wasn't in the mood for it. He smiled to convince Chanyeol he was fine and went back to his food; no point taking his frustration out on the delicious meal his sweetheart had prepared. "Great pasta, by the way. You've really outdone yourself this time."

Chanyeol smiled back at him, but Baekhyun knew he was just letting him off the hook, for now at least.

The next night he wasn't so lucky.

"Are you sure you’re happy living here with me?” Chanyeol asked, and the question came completely out of nowhere this time, like the cricket ball that had clocked Baekhyun in the side of the head during a lunchtime game back when he was still at school. No preamble whatsoever; they'd both been sitting in what Baekhyun had assumed was a comfortable lull in their conversation, eating together like they did every night, when Chanyeol suddenly opened his mouth and out it tumbled. This led to Baekhyun swallowing a dry lump of rice and nearly choking on it, the sort of thing that was already bound to happen when it was his turn to make dinner. Talk about being hit for six.

 “Of course I’m happy… I told you I was, didn't I?” He wiped his mouth on his napkin and trailed off into uneasy silence. How could he tell Chanyeol that he felt so out of place here, that he missed his old life terribly: Lightning Creek, and the hills, and the stock, and mustering season, and Chook and Banjo and the other horses, and the smell of hay and animal shit, and Amber and the girls, and the dogs, and lovely Mrs. Tucker. The feeling of the wind in your hair while on the back of a galloping horse, and the messy magic of sticking your arm up a pregnant cow to feel for the calf. He even missed Tiffany sometimes, although not her father — the old bastard could get stuffed, for all Baekhyun cared.

At night, he dreamed of brumbies running; wild horses being roped in, their eyes desperately rolling back in their heads, froth flying from their lips. He dreamed of the horses that they couldn’t save, the ones Tucker shot in the head. Once he even dreamed about a dog, a kelpie that looked a lot like Tess, who rounded all the brumbies up, herding every last one of them straight off a seaside cliff, their spindly, sinewy bodies breaking on the jagged rocks below.

And all those lost boys, those young men, who was gonna pull them out of the water?

“Maybe we should go out tonight. To a gay bar or something," Chanyeol was saying now. "Make some new friends."

Baekhyun snorted at the suggestion. So Chanyeol thought he was lonely, apparently… but that wasn’t the problem. He pushed the food around on his plate, too distracted to eat. “No thanks. I’m alright.” Anyway, he still liked women — did that mean he was gay? Or was _bisexual_ the proper word for it? He didn’t know what to call himself anymore, and thought if anyone cared to ask he would just say that he liked people in general, and be done with it.

Chanyeol shrugged. “I thought it might be good, you know… to be a part of the community. Anyway, it’s your birthday weekend. We should go out and celebrate.”

"If you want to run down Oxford Street painting the town pink on a Friday night, you can go right ahead," Baekhyun said. “I’m all for you doing that, but it's not really my idea of a fun time. I’m more of a pub man.”

"Alright, it was just an idea,” Chanyeol said with a sigh. “I just thought it might make you happier to have a few more mates, that's all. Not that you don't have any, but they all seem to be, well... back where you left them."

_Because all of this is temporary_ , Baekhyun wanted to say. Or was that wishful thinking? What if Chanyeol decided at the end of his degree that he liked it here, and wanted to stay on for good? What then? “And who said I'm not happy already?”

“I'm not an idiot, you know.” Chanyeol stiffened a little in his chair. “So stop treating me like I am."

“Well, what do you want from me? I don't understand why you're cornering me like this." Baekhyun sighed and rubbed his face with his hands. "Alright, fine... I'm not particularly happy here, but so what? I'm here because of you, because you're important to me — no other reason. Certainly not for myself. Are you happy now? Is that what you wanted to hear..?”

"I'm not trying to corner you. I’m just trying to get you to talk to me," Chanyeol said quietly. “Why can’t you tell me how you really feel for once? Trying to spare my feelings isn’t gonna help either of us.”

"It's just..." Baekhyun began, and then he went silent again, pushing his lips out into a pout instead of speaking. There was no good way to say what he needed to say; better to just get it out there on the table and be done with it.

“It’s just what?” Chanyeol said, sounding increasingly agitated. “Come on, spit it out.”

“It’s just that there's nothing for me here, really, is there?" At the look on Chanyeol's face, Baekhyun let out another heavy sigh, putting his fork down on the table. "I mean, apart from _you_ , obviously... but what am I even doing here? I don't belong here. I know it. You know it. The people who pay me to trim their hedges all fucking know it.”

"You agreed to move here with me. I didn’t twist your arm.” Baekhyun could tell Chanyeol was upset now from that pouty little frown of his, and the furrow in his brow. "Are you gonna start resenting me for something that was your own decision? I don't think that's fair."

When Baekhyun couldn’t find it in himself to respond, Chanyeol got up from the table with his plate in his hand — he’d hardly touched his food, and Baekhyun suspected his shitty attempt at cooking was only partly to blame. “Whatever... I'm going to bed,” he muttered. “Just leave your dish in the sink when you’re done. I'll do the washing up tomorrow." He stalked off towards their bedroom without giving Baekhyun his usual goodnight kiss, leaving him to sit there alone at the table with only his guilt for company. The thought of following Chanyeol to bed didn't appeal to him; it was obvious that he was in a foul mood right now, and that tiny mattress wouldn't be big enough for the two of them when he was like that. 

Baekhyun ended up sleeping on the couch that night instead. The next morning he went to knock on the bedroom door, finding it still closed. He knocked on it three times and waited for a response. Nothing.

"I'm going out for a bit,” he said to the closed door. "Just to clear my head. I'll be back later, okay?”

Again, no response. He was probably still mad.

Sighing, Baekhyun grabbed his car keys from the hook on the wall by the front door. He drove to the park and sat there until the afternoon, just watching the horses go around the riding track as usual. When he thought to check his watch it was already past two o’clock, but he baulked at the thought of going home. 

Today, horse-watching wasn't enough. He wanted to see fields and hills and clear sky, and to breathe in air so fresh and cool it made you feel more awake than you'd ever felt. To look up at night and see more than just a handful of stars.

He walked back to where he’d parked the car, started it up and just kept driving, to nowhere in particular. It felt good to go for a drive without having a reason for it, other than that he wanted to — he had nowhere to be by any specific time, and no one to answer to. Didn’t know where he was going to, and yet he knew at the same time; he was going on a feeling alone, guided by hands from above and a voice he couldn't hear, but somehow felt deep within. Before long, he was on the Hume highway. Campbelltown came and went. Sign after sign flew by: exits for Pheasants Nest, Yerrinbool, Bowral and Berrima, but he flew right past each one. Suburbia gave way to pine forest and alternating fields of green and gold, shining in the late afternoon sun, until it began to dip down behind the hills. He passed Belanglo, then Marulan, then Goulburn. It wasn’t until he got to Yass that he finally pulled into the first petrol station he saw and filled up, then squeegeed the dead insects off the windscreen. He washed his hands and face at the restroom sink, scooping some of the water into his mouth. It was so cold it almost tasted sweet.

The clock on the wall behind the front counter said it was well past seven. After paying the attendant, Baekhyun walked over to the payphone to call home; Chanyeol was sure to be worried sick about him by now, and so it was the right thing to do. Until now he never knew why they got the landline hooked up; apart from a few calls to their families, neither of them really used it. But he supposed it’d come in handy for the odd occasion like this, when he decided on a whim that running off like a tearaway teen was a good idea.

Chanyeol picked up halfway through the second ring, like he’d been waiting by the phone. “Hey. It's me,” Baekhyun said, ignoring the tightness in his throat at the sound of Chanyeol answering the call, and the note of panic in his voice that made it seem higher than usual. For some reason it made him feel like he might cry if he wasn’t careful, although crying was something he hadn’t done in so long, he wasn’t even sure he still knew how to do it. “I’m sorry I didn’t call earlier.”

“Baek, where the hell have you been?” Chanyeol’s voice cracked when he spoke, and Baekhyun couldn’t tell if it was the phone doing that or if it was because he was upset. Maybe better to pretend it was the phone. Whatever the case, he sounded really far away, and Baekhyun suddenly found it a bit hard to breathe.

He inhaled shakily and slowly let it out, trying to calm himself down before he spoke. “Um. I’m in Yass.”

Chanyeol was silent for a moment. "You're in Yass,” he repeated.

“That’s what I said.”

"What the hell are you doing there?”

“I was driving and... I dunno. I just kept going. Before I knew it I was past Goulburn, and now here I am.”

There was a loud sigh through the phone. “Baek, why are you doing this?”

“It’s not because of you. You’re not the reason.” Baekhyun paused for a second and leaned his forehead against the wall, the orange payphone receiver pressed to his ear. It didn’t matter how far he drove; the sky out here was so big, so black, but right now it wasn’t big enough to contain all the things he felt. “I just feel a bit lost, I guess.”

“Okay." To Baekhyun’s relief, Chanyeol didn't sound angry, just resigned. "Well, I don’t get you sometimes. But as long as you’re safe."

“I wanted to get out of the city for a bit, that’s all," Baekhyun said. "Get some fresh air in me. See some stars.”

“Could've driven for an hour out of town and seen plenty of stars,” Chanyeol said. Baekhyun could tell from his tone of voice that he was smiling now, and it made him feel a little better. “Didn’t need to drive for, what, three? Three and a half?”

“I guess I kinda wanted to see where you grew up, as well," Baekhyun said. "Is that weird of me?”

When Chanyeol finally responded again, his voice was even quieter. “You're going to Young?”

Baekhyun sighed and rubbed the tension out of his forehead with his free hand. “I was seriously considering it, since I'm sort of heading in that direction… but nah. I'll come home. I'll be back around midnight, probably, if I turn around now."

Chanyeol was quiet for a moment, and Baekhyun could almost hear him thinking. “Listen, don't go anywhere,” he said at last. “Can you call me back in about ten minutes? There’s something I gotta do.”

Baekhyun opened his mouth to ask what that something was, but then thought better of it. “Okay.”

While he waited, he went back into the shop to buy a packet of chips and sat in the driver’s seat of the ute to eat them, absently licking the salt from his fingers, and then he had a smoke. When he was done he went to the payphone to call Chanyeol back.

Again he answered on the second ring. “Look, it’s getting late now, and I don't want you driving all the way back here while you're tired and emotional.” Chanyeol took a deep breath that was audible through the phone, and then he said, “I just called my mum and asked if you could go stay at their place for the night, since you were driving out that way anyway. She said you’d be very welcome to.”

The revelation threw Baekhyun off his horse. “What? No fuckin way!”

“Why not?” The kid had the audacity to sound surprised at his reaction.

“For starters, I probably wouldn’t get there for at least another hour,” Baekhyun said. “And I’m a stranger — that’s why.”

Chanyeol laughed. “Hardly… they know all about you, you know.”

“What do you mean, they ‘know all about me’..?” Baekhyun asked, his heart dropping into his guts a second time.

“They know about you and me. And they don't even care, Baek. They're just happy that I'm happy."

“I can’t believe this is the first I’m hearing about it," Baekhyun muttered. "I mean, a heads-up would've been nice.”

“Just go there, alright?" Chanyeol said, sounding slightly exasperated. "I already told them you were coming. They'll be over the bloody moon to meet you, trust me. Been dying to ever since they first learned of your existence.”

Baekhyun sighed and waited for Chanyeol to rattle off a few directions, and then he hung up the phone. Well, they were bloody expecting him now, weren’t they? He could hardly just turn around and drive back the way he came.

“I could really kick him, sometimes,” he muttered to himself as he hopped back into the driver’s seat. He didn't know Chanyeol's parents from a bar of soap — how could he just turn up at their house uninvited, even if they knew now that he was coming? What would he even find to talk to them about? He spent the next few kilometres practicing to the rearview mirror in a joking sort of way, trying to laugh off his nerves — _hi, I'm Baekhyun, your son's significantly older boyfriend. Nice to meet you._

About an hour later, he passed a sign saying ‘Welcome To Young’ with some giant cherries on it and drove through the main drag. Under the cover of night, it seemed like a typical country town, with a small shopping village and wide tree-lined streets. He kept driving until the rows of cottages made way for more farmland, trying to spot the sign Chanyeol had told him to watch out for in the dark. The farm was about fifteen minutes outside the centre of town, Chanyeol had told him, and eventually he saw it up ahead, just as Chanyeol had described on the phone earlier: _PARK'S CHERRIES & STONEFRUIT _painted on a large wooden standing sign, positioned next to the beginning of a narrow gravel road turning left off the highway. He turned into it. It was too dark to see much, but the night sky was dotted with so many stars that it almost had a milky appearance. He drove along until he saw the lit-up windows of a red brick cottage ahead, and pulled up out the front of it. When he got out of the car, the first thing he noticed was that the air there was different. And it was cold for early May, probably several degrees colder than it would be back at home.

_Home._ When had he begun to think of Sydney as home?

An enormous gum tree with peeling bark and a rope swing hanging off one branch stood to the side of the house. Smoke poured out of the chimney; Baekhyun stood there for a moment and breathed in deeply, the welcoming smell of a burning log fire mingling with the crisp night air. He'd barely set a tentative foot onto the front step, the wood creaking beneath his boots, when the door flung itself open, flooding the verandah with warm yellow light. The woman standing in the doorway was surprisingly tiny, which Baekhyun hadn't expected — Chanyeol was very tall, after all, and that height had to come from somewhere — but she had the same kind eyes that wrinkled with her smile. Her dark hair was streaked here and there with grey, pulled back in a low ponytail. A black dog stood next to her, a kelpie just like Tess; it peered out at Baekhyun with vague interest, but didn’t bark.

"Hi there," the woman said, smiling at him. "Baekhyun, right? Chanyeol told us you’d be stopping by.”

Baekhyun smiled back at her shyly. "Yeah, that's me. Sorry for dropping in on you all last-minute.”

The woman laughed. "Not at all… we get visitors coming through all the time, especially when it’s cherry season, so you get used to it. But I'm sure Chanyeol's told you all about that. You've probably picked the most boring time to come here; should pop back in summer and see what it's all about. You ever been cherry picking before?"

Baekhyun shook his head. "My background's in livestock. Cattle, mostly.”

“Yes, so I've heard." One of her eyes closed more than the other when she smiled, making it look like she was winking — a quirk Chanyeol also shared. "Chanyeol always wanted to work with livestock too… absolutely loves animals. Sorry, I'm just yapping away at you and haven't even invited you inside -- how rude of me. Please come in, it’s chilly out there.” She stood to the side of the doorway, gesturing for Baekhyun to enter. “Out of the way, Shadow, let the young man through. You hungry?”

For a second, Baekhyun assumed she was still talking to the dog, but then he realised she meant him. Now that he thought about it, his stomach was growling. Those chips he had in the car had barely taken the edge off. “Well… maybe a little.”

"I can heat you up some leek and potato soup, if you like,” she said. “Made it myself earlier. With some crusty homemade bread, how's that sound?"

“Sounds lovely.” It was nice and toasty inside the house, and Baekhyun was grateful for the warmth, feeling his cold body thawing out slowly but surely.

"It'll warm you right up. Kitchen's this way. You can hang your things up by the door if you like, or I can put them in your room. Up to you."

Baekhyun paused in the middle of shrugging off his jacket. "My room..?”

"Well, it's Yeollie's old room, but it'll be yours as long as you're staying here," Mrs. Park said. “It's great to finally meet you, by the way, with the way he's been blabbering on about you... said how much he learned from his time up in Lightning Creek, and how well you've been taking care of him. That boy thinks you're the greatest thing to walk the earth." She turned around and wink-smiled at Baekhyun again.  "And handsome, I see, although he neglected to mention that part.”

Baekhyun laughed nervously, and kept following her towards the kitchen. The dog plodded along quietly behind her, and Baekhyun could tell it was long in the tooth by the wiry white hairs mottling the black fur, and from how it walked, dragging its feet along in a leisurely sort of way — probably a former working dog that had lived long enough to see its retirement years, the way it was meant to be. He thought of Tess again and felt a pang of guilt, flicking the feeling away in the same way the horses did to the flies that ventured too close to their tails. There were framed photos all over walls, some in colour, others black and white. Chanyeol on the back of a stout grey pony. Chanyeol standing among the cherry trees with a girl Baekhyun assumed was his sister, each carrying a basket full to overflowing with ripe fruit. Chanyeol with his dogs. Little Chanyeol in his primary school uniform, making a peace sign at the camera and wearing a cheesy grin, one of his front teeth missing.

"Come on in. Have a seat." In the kitchen, Chanyeol's mother pulled a chair out and gestured for Baekhyun to sit. The dog lay down under the table at his feet. “Don’t bother him, Shadow… we leave our other dogs outside, but Shadow’s getting on a bit, so she’s earned her place indoors. Hope you don’t mind her being here.”

“Not at all,” Baekhyun said. “I’m a dog person, myself.”

Mrs. Park turned on the flame under a pot on the stove, gently stirring the contents as she chatted. "So how's city life treating you both? I only hear from Chanyeol occasionally, so things can't be too bad up there. No news is good news, as they say.”

Baekhyun thought about it for a moment. "It's... great," he replied, hesitating a little, and she laughed at his response. 

"You don't sound too convinced about it,” she said, “but that's alright. You can take the boy out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the boy.” 

Just as she said this, a man poked his head in through the kitchen door. “Do I hear a visitor?" he said, grinning at Baekhyun; he looked like an older, somewhat stockier version of Chanyeol — his father, Baekhyun guessed. The resemblance was definitely there.

Mrs. Park turned her head to shoot her husband a smile, and then went back to ladling hot soup into a bowl. It smelled delicious, and Baekhyun's mouth immediately began to water. "This is the legendary Baekhyun we've heard so much about,” she said. “Stockman extraordinaire.”

Baekhyun smiled. “I hope Chanyeol didn’t talk me up too much. Wouldn’t want you both to be let down.”

“Ah, well, Chanyeol’s not the type to gush over someone if he doesn’t mean it.” Mr. Park stood there, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed, studying Baekhyun intently. “I’ll be turning in soon; gotta be up bright and early tomorrow, but it’s very nice to meet you, Baekhyun," he said with a kindly smile. Please make yourself at home, and let us know if you need anything.”

“Thank you. It’s nice to meet you too,” Baekhyun said, smiling back at him. Chanyeol's old man ducked out of the room then, and as Mrs. Park set the bowl of hot soup in front of him, Baekhyun felt another twinge of guilt. Beyond mentioning that he and Chanyeol were living together, he hadn't really broached the subject of the nature of their relationship with his own parents; he didn’t think they’d even mind, really, but it wasn’t something he knew how to bring up. Chanyeol, on the other hand, spoke to his family much more often, and so it was more likely to have come up in conversation. Baekhyun wondered if Chanyeol’s parents were only being nice to him for their son's sake, but when he thought about it, nothing about their friendliness or hospitality seemed forced. To his relief, neither of them had thought to ask him why he was there in their kitchen in the first place, and if they _were_ wondering, they kept it to themselves. There was no sense of being unwanted or unwelcome; in fact, quite the opposite. 

Mrs. Park straightened the faded floral tablecloth and sat down opposite Baekhyun, pushing a basket of bread rolls closer to him. "There you are. Help yourself."

"Thanks." Baekhyun spooned some soup into his mouth, and if it smelled good, then it tasted even better. “Mmm… this is delicious. I can see where Chanyeol got his talent for cooking from."

Mrs. Park laughed. "I could never keep that kiddo out of the kitchen when he was younger... always wanted to help me cook. He was such a cute, chubby little thing back then, loved his food — still does, I suppose, but then he shot up like a tree and all that puppy fat got stretched out. Now he's thin as a post, but he can still put it away. I imagine he must be eating you out of house and home."

Baekhyun smiled and lifted another spoonful to his lips. “Yeah, but I can’t hold it against him, since he’s probably got a bit of growing left to do. Still only twenty years old."

"And you? How old are you?" She blinked at him brightly, and Baekhyun nearly choked on his mouthful of soup.

"Um, I’m turning thirty soon,” he said, clearing his throat. He hesitated for a moment, suddenly remembering what the date was. "Tomorrow, actually.”

Mrs. Park's eyes widened at the revelation. “I see. He definitely didn't mention _that_ on the phone," she said, and laughed. "Goodness me. I can imagine there are better places out there to spend your birthday than a fruit farm in the middle of nowhere."

Baekhyun put his spoon down on the table. "I know you must be wondering why I've shown up here like this... by myself and all. And I wasn’t gonna bother you, but before I knew it he’d already made the call—”

Mrs. Park only shook her head, and held up a hand to silence him gently.  "Love, whatever's gone on between you two, that's something you can sort out on your own. But Chanyeol really likes you, I can tell you that much… it’d be a real shame if you couldn't work it out. It sounds like you were both really happy together.” 

Baekhyun swallowed. "And what are your thoughts on the two of us being together?” he ventured to ask, although he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear the answer. 

Mrs. Park looked at him for a moment without speaking. "What's it got to do with me? If Chanyeol's happy, then I'm happy." She let out a little sigh, and then walked over to the bench, picked up a newspaper and threw it on the table in front of Baekhyun. Baekhyun glanced at it; one of the articles was about the boy they'd found, the one he'd heard about on the radio in Mrs. Roberts' kitchen.

“Another one,” Mrs. Park said quietly. “All these young men disappearing all over the state, left for dead with the shit beaten out of them, their battered bodies washing up on beaches… you really think their families wouldn't give anything to have them back?” She took a seat opposite him again. “Chanyeol’s safe and well and he’s happy with you. That's all me and his father care about. And if you return his feelings, then who am I to get in the way of the two of you being together?"

“Thank you for saying that,” Baekhyun said quietly. “It means a lot.”

Mrs. Park waved him off. “Don't thank me... I should be thanking you for taking good care of him. Always gonna worry about him because that's being a parent for you, but it's nice to see he's in good hands." When Baekhyun had finished his soup, she set a huge piece of cherry pie in front of him, even going so far as to stick a candle in it in honour of his birthday. “There you are, baked fresh this morning… made it from preserved fruit because we’re still out of season, but it’ll be almost as good." She laughed a little and said, "I won’t sing ‘happy birthday’, don’t worry. I’d hate to embarrass you.”

Chanyeol had been right, Baekhyun thought, as he demolished spoonful after spoonful, the fruit the perfect balance of tart and sweet, the buttery pastry, the sugar crystals baked into the crust at the top giving it the perfect crunch — his mum’s cherry pie _was_ something to write home about.

Later that night, he lay down on fresh sheets in Chanyeol’s childhood bed, the patchwork quilt pulled up to his chin. He felt like a kid again, and there was something nice about it. He was almost asleep when there was a scratching sound at the door; getting up to open it, he saw Shadow standing there, or rather her silhouette in the doorway. Silently she padded over to the bed, settling herself down at the foot of it, and Baekhyun smiled and hopped back under the covers. The dog made little whimpering sounds in her sleep, just like Tess used to do. He drifted off warm and happy that night, grateful for the company.

  
  
 * * * * *

  


The next morning, Baekhyun woke up to the smell of bacon before he heard the sizzle of it, wafting through the house strong enough to rouse the sleeping dog at his feet. He wiggled his legs a little and she got up, dropping off the bed and wandering out of the room and down the hall.

“Can go collect the eggs, if you like,” Mrs. Park said when Baekhyun walked into the kitchen, asking if there was anything he could help her out with. “Or ‘bum-nut duty’, as Yeollie used to call it." She chuckled to herself. "You’ll find the coop out the back. Follow the sound of clucking.”

Baekhyun went out to the chicken coop with a basket under his arm, and was greeted by more dogs, two friendly blue heelers who kept jumping up on his legs. Inside each nesting box was a beautiful fresh egg — some pale brown, some white, sitting there on the straw. Biggest eggs he’d ever seen. He brought them back to the house in the basket and Mrs. Park took a few from him, cracking them into the hot pan. 

"Where's Mr. Park this morning?" Baekhyun asked, watching her cook. He felt a bit useless standing there, so he sat down at the kitchen table instead.

“Oh, he's out in the orchard, mowing the grass,” Mrs. Park told him. “Will probably take him half a day to do it, especially with all the weeds that need pulling. You might think there's not a lot to do in an orchard out of season, but you've still got to mow your grass, and prune your trees, and do all your fertilising and spraying, and check and maintain all your equipment. It's much more of a year-round job than most people realise. "

They ate breakfast together, and then Baekhyun offered to wash up, even though she only let him do it when he insisted. He stood at the sink in front of the kitchen window up to his elbows in hot soapy water, watching a brown horse with a white blaze grazing in the paddock outside, while Mrs. Park sat at the table and read the Sunday paper.

“Beautiful horse,” Baekhyun said.

Mrs. Park turned the page of her newspaper with a rustle. “She is, isn’t she? Her name’s Shoot The Breeze.”

Baekhyun laughed at that. “Really? Bit of a mouthful.”

“Ah, well, we call her ‘Shooter’ for short,” Mrs. Park said, with a little chuckle of her own. “Blame Chanyeol, he’s the one who came up with the name. We had two other mares until recently, Little Red Corvette and Riverina Princess, but we had to sell them because looking after three horses was too much work. I’m pretty sure Chanyeol still hasn’t forgiven me.”

“Would you mind if I went out and saw her?” Baekhyun asked. “I don’t really have much to do with horses, these days.”

"Of course not… she’s a lovely old soul, too. Go give her this if you want." Mrs. Park put her paper down and handed Baekhyun a green apple from the fruit bowl that had gone a bit soft. He walked across the grass out the back of the house, with Shadow following at his heels. Now that it was daylight, he could see the surrounding landscape properly: turned out they did have hills where Chanyeol grew up — lower ones, maybe, but hills all the same. He reached the wooden fence surrounding the paddock, and leaning against it, held out his hand to see if the horse would come. Eventually she wandered over to see what was going on, sniffed Baekhyun’s offering and crunched it up in one mouthful, blessing him with a glistening string of slobber in the palm of his hand. Baekhyun rubbed her nose and made clicking noises with his tongue. Next to him, the dog whined, probably wondering where her own treat was; Chanyeol had been right, she really did look like a black version of Tess, and Baekhyun smiled and bent down to give her a scratch behind the ears. “Got nothing for you, darling, sorry."

“Shadow, what have I told you about harassing visitors..?”

Baekhyun’s eyes widened at the sound of that voice. When he turned around he saw a tall figure walking towards him. “What are _you_ doing here?"

“Hey, now… this is my home, isn’t it?” Chanyeol stopped short a few metres away from Baekhyun, and stood there smiling with both his hands in his pockets. “A mate who owed me a favour let me borrow his car for the day, so here I am.” He took off his hat, messing up his hair a little before putting it back on, and Baekhyun had to stop himself from running into the boy's arms and knocking him flat onto the grass, the urge was so strong. He could tell Chanyeol was in a shy mood because he was rocking back and forth on his feet a little; in a way it was like some of their progress had been undone, Baekhyun thought, but that also meant it all felt kind of new again. It had been a while since he had felt that fluttery feeling in his stomach; he decided he liked it.

"Well?" He grinned at Chanyeol. "Are you just gonna stand there like a dope, or are you gonna walk that sexy bum of yours over here and give me a hug?”

Chanyeol hesitated for a second, but then he walked over. Baekhyun took the boy into his arms, holding him tight and breathing him in as deeply as he could.

"I'm really happy to see you," he whispered, pressing a kiss to the side of Chanyeol's neck. "Thought I was dreaming for a sec when I saw you standing there."

Chanyeol pulled away from the hug and stood close to Baekhyun with one hand on either side of his face. "I'm really happy to see you too."

Baekhyun bit his lip. "You're not pissed off at me?”

“Nah. I was at first… with you just taking off like that, and not even telling me about it. I was worried something really bad might’ve happened. But as soon as I heard your voice on the phone, I got over it." Chanyeol turned his head, surveying his surroundings as though seeing them for the first time. "Seeing this place again after months of being away... you almost forget the effect it has on you," he said, smiling. “Well, this is home, I guess. What do you think?"

"I like it,” Baekhyun said. “I like it a lot, in fact. I’d really like to spend more time around here.”

"You for real, or just saying that to make me happy?" Chanyeol said, still smiling at him. He reached out to touch Baekhyun's hair, gently tucking it behind his ear.

"I'm serious. It reminds me a bit of where I grew up. I mean in terms of the landscape… the hills, and how green everything is. I think that's why I like it so much."

Chanyeol grabbed Baekhyun's hand and started pulling him away. "Come with me. I'll show you around, give you the ‘Grand Tour’ of the property. I suppose you've already seen the house.”

Baekhyun nodded, allowing himself to be led away. “Sounds good."

Chanyeol took him down to the orchard, and they wandered together between the rows of cherry trees, admiring the last of their autumn foliage. "We'll have to come back during cherry season so you can really see what it's all about," he said, holding Baekhyun's hand while they walked. "We get lots of people coming through here who'll pay good money to pick their own fruit. Cherry season’s pretty short, though; usually only lasts a couple of months, from November to February. Then you’ve got the National Cherry Festival in early December — there’s a parade, a cherry pie-eating contest, and another one to see who can spit a cherry pip the farthest… it’s good fun." When Baekhyun looked over at him, he was smiling to himself. "I came runner-up in the Pip Spit once, a couple of years ago, but that was as far as I got.”

“I did always say you had a talented mouth,” Baekhyun said, laughing softly. “That does sound fun, though. You’ll have to take me there sometime.”

“I sure will.” Chanyeol smiled at Baekhyun again, but then his expression softened. 

"What?" Baekhyun asked; he stopped walking and stood there facing Chanyeol. "What's that look for?"

"Was just wondering when I get to kiss you, that’s all,” Chanyeol whispered. There it was, that shyness again.

“And what’s stopping you?” Baekhyun said quietly. When Chanyeol finally leaned down to kiss him, Baekhyun's hand moved up to the back of his head, pulling him in closer.

“Happy 30th, by the way, you old fart,” Chanyeol whispered against his lips, laughing when Baekhyun playfully shoved him away.

“I thought you said I wasn’t old!”

“Ah, but you were still 29 when I said that. You most definitely are old now.”

“Brat,” Baekhyun muttered, but he couldn’t keep himself from smiling. Chanyeol kissed him again, pushing him up against one of the cherry trees, his big warm hands roaming all over Baekhyun’s face. “Come on,” he whispered into Baekhyun’s mouth, “let’s take this inside.”

“Not in your parents’ house, surely.” Baekhyun immediately pulled his hands out of the back pockets of Chanyeol’s jeans. His father was probably somewhere in the orchard still, and no matter how relaxed Chanyeol’s parents were about their relationship, he still didn’t want to be caught groping their son out in the open air.

“Not _that_ , you dirty old man,” Chanyeol said, laughing; with a hand on Baekhyun’s shoulder, he began to steer him back in the direction of the house. “I just wanna make out for a bit, maybe cop a feel if you’ll let me… but that’s all, I swear.” 

So they went inside and lay down together in Chanyeol’s old bed, and Baekhyun cradled his head against the pillow and whispered _'I love you'_ into his hair and his mouth and against the warm skin of his neck, until neither of them could find the words anymore. "I missed you so much,” he said while they held each other tight, breaking the long silence that had elapsed since the last ‘I love you’ was said. He had his head on Chanyeol’s chest, listening to his heart.

Chanyeol laughed softly. “You were only gone for one night.”

"I know, but it was the first time I woke up without you in who knows how long. Shadow was my bed-buddy in your absence.”

“Bless her,” Chanyeol whispered. He was playing with Baekhyun’s hair now, and it made Baekhyun want to go to sleep. “And bless you. And bless this fucking mullet. I’ve changed my mind, I hope you never cut it.”

“You know, once I ran away from home when I was a kid,” Baekhyun said, smiling at the memory. “Had some kind of argument with my mum about something I don’t even remember now... can’t have been that important. So I used all the pocket money I had on me to get the bus to Armidale, and then I wandered down the road, sticking my thumb out at every passing vehicle, until I got picked up by a guy driving a milk truck. Asked him to take me to Sydney with him, since he was headed that way and I’d never been there before. Got as far as Uralla and had a change of heart, then begged him to turn around and take me back. Poor fella… he was very obliging, though.”

“How far was that?” Chanyeol asked.

“Armidale to Uralla? About twenty kilometres, give or take.”

Chanyeol laughed. “You got a bit further than that this time.”

Baekhyun yawned and was quiet for a minute or two, lulled by the sound of Chanyeol’s even breathing. “I wasn't running away from you," he whispered. "I would never... I couldn’t.”

“Shhh, it's okay." Chanyeol's arms tightened around Baekhyun, bringing him in closer. "I know.”

“I just needed some space," Baekhyun said quietly. "To put myself at enough of a distance to think about where I am right now, and what I plan to do. And I don’t like looking out the window and not being able to see fields forever — do you ever get that? Sometimes it feels so closed in back there. How can a big place like that feel so small?”

“I don’t know,” Chanyeol whispered, "but I feel it too. I do.” They fell into silence again, and then he said, “I find it so hard sometimes, getting you to open up to me like this. I always feel like I have to wait until you're drunk or half asleep before I ask you anything. You know... when your resistance is down."

"Nothing really to open up about," Baekhyun said, with a little shrug of his shoulders.

"Not true. I know it and you know it.”

"I love you. That's all you need to know."

"If you really love me then you'll tell me what you’re feeling.”

Baekhyun groaned and rolled away from Chanyeol, facing the other way. "Don't give me that,” he muttered, but Chanyeol was relentless, pulling Baekhyun back in to face him. No more hiding now.

“I mean it, Baek," he said. "You mean everything to me… I’m not playing around here. You're not just something I'm getting out of my system. I’m in this for life.”

“I know that," Baekhyun whispered, and he _did_ know. Chanyeol had been the first one to say ‘I love you’, a soft whisper into a kiss while Baekhyun held him on their very first night in the apartment they now called home, back when all they had was a crappy foam mattress on the floor and some boxes of stuff that, half a year later, they still hadn't completely unpacked yet. There was no reason to doubt his love, or his need for Baekhyun's love. They had nothing else to offer each other.

"So what do you want, then?" Chanyeol asked, and it made Baekhyun's heart hurt that he looked afraid of the answer.

"I want... this," he said, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend's body, leaning in to kiss him with a smile still on his lips. “All I want is you and me. I’ve been doing a bit of thinking and all, and I’m willing to feel a bit aimless, just as long as I can keep you around.”

"Just a couple more years,” Chanyeol whispered. “Just until I graduate; then we can go wherever we want. Get a place of our own.”

"Okay," Baekhyun whispered back.

"Can you wait for me?”

Baekhyun nodded, kissed Chanyeol on the mouth one more time and put his head back on the boy’s heart. “I’ll wait for you," he said. He smiled to himself. "Why did you come after me, anyway? You knew I was gonna come back.”

"I know that. But to tell you the truth, I missed you terribly as well… I found it impossible to think about anything else," Chanyeol said. "Anyway, I don't want it to always be you who follows me everywhere, Baek. It has to go both ways."

Baekhyun let out a happy little hum. "Mmm. As wise as he is pretty..”

“Shut ya face,” Chanyeol said, but he laughed anyway.

“Aww, now don't be like that. You know I love you."

"I love you too. I love every hair on your old grey head."

Baekhyun laughed. "Quiet, you." Rolling on to his side, he kissed Chanyeol's forehead, lay back and gazed upon him, touching his face and just looking at him, and feeling luckier than he’d ever felt before. _So young_ , he thought, smiling to himself, _but so beautiful_. Chanyeol was sweet and pure-hearted, and the world and all the terrible things in it would break that heart sooner or later; would break it over and over. But Baekhyun wouldn't be one of those things.

"What's on your mind?" Chanyeol asked softly, looking like he might fall asleep too, which only made Baekhyun even sleepier. He didn't know how they were going to make themselves drive the four hours to get back home again. Maybe they could both take a Monday off, and stay another night.

"I'm just wondering if you've ever done anything naughty in this bed before," he said, with his gaze drifting down to Chanyeol's lips, biting his own bottom lip to keep from smiling. “And would a bit of hot birthday loving be out of the question.”

Chanyeol let out an incredulous laugh. "This is my childhood bed, you old perv.” A pause, a little smirk and then he said, “I might’ve snuck a girl in here a couple of times, back in the day. But don't tell mum." He winked and pressed a finger to his lips.

"Don't worry, baby," Baekhyun whispered, smiling into a soft kiss upon his boyfriend's neck. “It can wait until we get home."

  


  * * * * *

 

When Baekhyun arrived home from work the following Friday evening, it was to find their apartment apparently deserted. 

“Hello? Chanyeol..?” He couldn't hear a sound but for the floorboards creaking beneath his feet. He crept through the living room into the kitchen, and saw crockery and lit candles laid out on the tiny card table. He froze on his feet, looking around. Nearly a week had passed since his birthday, and so his first instinct was to panic slightly, thinking he'd forgotten some other special event — an anniversary, perhaps? No, that wouldn't be until later in the year. And Chanyeol’s birthday had been back in November.

Before he had too much time to think about it, someone barrelled into him from behind, nearly sending him flying. “What the f—”

"Surprise!” Chanyeol yelled in Baekhyun’s ear, and then pressed a big wet kiss against the back of his neck. He stood there with his arms wrapped tight around Baekhyun’s shoulders, holding him from behind for a while. “Welcome to your belated birthday dinner,” he whispered, laughing softly. “Come on, did you really think I was gonna let you off that easy?”

“Well, I was kinda hoping you would, admittedly," Baekhyun said, turning around to face him. When Chanyeol looked a little crestfallen, he added, "but I'm very touched by all the effort. Don't get me wrong."

Chanyeol beamed down at him, apparently happy again. "Come over here then, and I'll show you your present."

“All this and a present too?” Baekhyun chuckled, allowing himself to be led away. “Don’t I feel special..”

Chanyeol seemed agitated, like he was about to burst out of his skin with excitement, and Baekhyun didn’t know why. He’d never seen someone get so worked up over another person’s birthday before, but it made him smile. Pretty damn cute. “Well alright then,” he said, when they were in the living room. “Don’t leave me hanging.”

“Right. So I have a proposition for you,” Chanyeol said, clasping his hands together in front of him. “How’d you like to go down south?”

Baekhyun frowned at him. "Is that a euphemism..?” 

Chanyeol just laughed and shook his head. "No, you dimwit… you liked my parents’ farm, right? You told me you’d like to spend more time down there. So I figured I’d apply for a transfer out that way, and see what happens.”

When Baekhyun continued to stare at him blankly, Chanyeol pulled a folded piece of paper out from his pocket and handed it to him. Baekhyun looked at it. It was a campus transfer application form for Chanyeol’s university, slightly crumpled, with all the boxes ticked or crossed, the details filled out in black pen. When he looked up at Chanyeol again, the cheeky bastard was grinning so widely that Baekhyun was sure his face must be hurting from the effort. “So,” he said, “what are your thoughts on possibly relocating?”

“I can’t tell if you’re serious or not,” Baekhyun replied, his voice barely above a whisper. It would be cruel if this was all a joke; but although Chanyeol could definitely be a joker sometimes, he wasn’t the cruel type.

“I’m deadly serious,” Chanyeol said. “My university has several rural campuses in New South Wales, and there’s one about an hour’s drive from where my parents live that runs the same course I’m currently taking. If I transfer there, I can continue my studies, you can hopefully go back to working with livestock, and we can be closer to mum and dad. As far as I see it, everybody wins. So if you like the sound of that, I’m going to apply to transfer there next semester. But only if you agree to it.”

Baekhyun just stood there with the form in his hands, staring at it until his eyes unfocused and the words blurred together, unsure of what to say. “I guess I’m just wondering,” he said in a quiet voice. “What brought all this on?”

Chanyeol was silent for a moment. “Lately I’ve been thinking about how much you’ve had to give up to be with me,” he said. “But you’re the most important thing in my life, and when you love someone like I love you, you’ve gotta be willing to compromise.” Now he was grinning again. “Anyway, it doesn’t make much sense to me anymore, studying agricultural science at a city university. It’d be better to get out there amongst it, I think. Get my hands properly dirty and all that.”

Baekhyun was still a bit lost for words, but it was hard to keep the smile off his face at that point. “I don’t really know what to say, to be honest with you. But it all sounds great.”

Chanyeol nodded. “And I’m sure there’ll be opportunities for livestock handlers in the area, but mum and dad would welcome your help on the farm until you decide what you want to do. Just until you get back on your feet.” He always rambled a bit when he was nervous or excited, which Baekhyun loved about him, but then he loved everything about Chanyeol. “That is, if you don’t mind making the switch from cattle to fruit for a bit. Though I reckon you’d manage just fine.”

Baekhyun stood on his toes to give his boyfriend a kiss. “Well, it sounds like you have this all planned out. I must say I’m impressed… your parents should be proud.”

“They are — they loved the idea. And they love you, too.” Chanyeol grinned, and this time his cheeks went all pink with it. “So when are we gonna go and meet _your_ folks, then?”

“One thing at a time, my love.” Baekhyun smiled, patting Chanyeol on the side of his face. “One thing at a time."

  


 

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